January 7th, 2011

Had a wonderful time at my first Graduate support group today at DHMC.  Was fabulous to meet my new friend Theresa.    I had the amazing opportunity to speak to a group of new people at the informational seminar.  It really went much better than I expected.  I am loving my journey.  I hope to speak at future seminars.  This post is kinda short and sweet.  Long day.  I need to visit the back of my eyelids.  Hope to make new connections with DHMC.    Nite. 

Bariatric Bypass Surgery a Success

Back home after having bariatric bypass surgery.  The journey to date has been long, however has just begun.  I need to heal and deal with the pain.  I will post as soon as I am able.  Its finally done.  I am on the road to recovering from obesity. 

Three Days left to surgery...

In the next three days I am going to take the time to be mindful and reflect on what means the most to me.  When you have been as obese as long as I have, you lose touch with the 'healthy and fit" people.  I am ready to experience that life.  Gradual is key, and all we have is time.  Surgery is just one tool in the facet of my weight loss journey.  I am looking forward to doing this with you.

ONE week from today....

I am down to one week before surgery.   I have been seeing my therapist since October and now realize my relationship with food can be healthy.  Emotional eating is something I have struggled with for years.  I am finally going to use food for its intended purpose.  Fuel for the body.  Not to bury feelings.  Today is actually the last visit with my therapist before I undergo my bypass.  Normally I see him on fridays, however with my grandmother's passing, I need Fri/Sat to help clean up her home and such.  Today is a good day.

8 days left

It is coming closer. I am starting to adapt to the diet with little resistance.  I can do this.  I will do this.  August 3rd, here I come.  Its a good day.

10 days left...

I have made it to the countdown of 10 days.  This journey has had its struggles, however I am in for the long haul.  If anyone tells you that the pre-op diet is easy.  They are lying. Trust me.  I agree with someone the I know that just had the surgery and said about day four, she was ready to eat the tires on her car.  There you have it.  I can do this.  There is no alternative.  I choose life.

Saturday is Verna's Day

On Saturday, July 17th, 2010, we will come together as a family to celebrate the life of my grandmother Verna.  Her showing will be from 11 - 1 pm.  Following the burial at the cemetary.  She was a strong willed person and a survivor.  She was granted her final wish.  I am sure she is already re-aquainted with my grandfather Phil.  I love you Gram.  Its a lot of work to be your Rebel.

A Celebration of life...

My grandmother Verna is in now in heaven with my grandfather Phil.  She passed away this evening at 11:15 pm.  We had just left the nursing home, and she passed 15 minutes later.  This was her last and final wish, and it was granted.  I love you gram.  Watch over us and we will meet again.  You are my angel.

My Grandmother

Today we received the devastating blow that my maternal grandmother Verna's cancer has returned and will be her detriment.  Since my grandfather's passing she has been very lonely and missing him.  She is the one whom is at peace and the rest of us are falling apart.  She has terrible peripheral edema in her legs, and is not doing well at all.  The physician told us that she has just over a month to live and we are extremely sad.  Words cannot express the love you feel for a grandparent, whom is also my God Mother.  I couldnt imagine my life without her in it.  Thank God I didnt have to.  She is ready to move on to the next phase of her existence.  I will enjoy every moment I have left.  She told me today that she wants to live long enough for me to undergo my Bariatric Bypass Surgery.  I pray that will be the case and we will both have our prayers answered.  This post is dedicated to my grandmother VERNA.  This is my year to shine, and her year to be guided by the light.  We will see each other again.  Thats a guarantee.  I love you gram. 

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMERICA!!!

The air was so soaked with humidity today, I actually napped for the first time in ages.  Kirk and I went to the parade in the afternoon, and then back for the fireworks.  Was able to meet up with my friend "Sis" and her dad.  It was awesome.  We had a great time.  Good laughs and good company.  Its a 4th of July I thoroughly enjoyed.  My last 4th of July obese.  I have so much to be thankful for. 

Surgery Date

Its official.  I will have my bariatric bypass surgery on August 3rd, 2010.  Its so exciting for many, many reasons.  I love the number 3, so it also has some calming meaning as well.  When I got the call from the hospital today, it truly took my breath away.  I embark on this project with a modest prayer; that its outcome will be the best that is possible in whatever circumstances have unfolded by the time of its conclusion. A big part of my preparation for not only surgery, but the changes that I will be going thru post surgery, was my continued weekly psychotherapy.  My therapist is truly a master of his trade.  He has prepared me for coming to grips with the past, steering through the present and prepping for a brighter future. In its own mysterious way, this journey has let me read hidden pages in my autobiography...a diary I did not even know I was keeping, complete with a glimpse of what might be written on the pages ahead and advice on what I need to do to rewrite those pages to make a more satisfying story.  Tomorrow I will start the pre-op diet.  Its actually 2 weeks earlier than they would really like you to, however I want to make my surgical procedure as easy for the Doctor as possible.  Its going to be a very long month.  I am going to have 1,000 calories for the next seven days, then 900 calories for the following 7 days, then 800 calories daily for the final 2 weeks before surgery.  As overwhelming as these numbers may seem, I can do this.  I will do this.  I will never look back. 

Today changed my life

Just got the all so important call I have been waiting for.  I have been approved for my bariatric bypass surgery and couldnt be more thrilled  !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!    The news quite honestly took my breath away.  I will never look back while I am healing from obesity.  I can only move foward from this day on.  Thank you .

Tomorrow's Monday

Thinking about that all important phone call.  I am confident it will be this week. I will keep you posted. 

Patient Benefits

Spoke with someone in patient benefits today and no word on surgery approval yet.  Today was only the 5th business day since my packet was faxed to the insurance.  I am so excited and very anxious to get my date.  I told the woman that I spoke to that we need a code word.  I asked her just to say "YES" on my voicemail if I am unavailable.  That way I can get the anxiety over with.  LOL.. She said most people cannot stand it when she calls and shes the final step before surgery.  She said she will only say YES if all is well.  Things have worked so well to this point.  Monday is coming.  Tuesday just might be the day and call. 

Yet Another Symptom of Obesity

The humidity in the air the past few days has been aweful.  Almost crippling to people suffering from Obesity.  I know this feeling all too well.  I am using my inhalers more frequently and trying to stay out of the direct air.  One day it will be nice to not feel like I have taken a shower just by standing outside in humid conditions.  The feeling will be not be measurable.

I like Tuesdays

America's Got Talent & Losing it with Jillian is on tonight.  Primetime tueday is my favorite.  Just finished the show, "The Biggest Loser" & American Idol.  The seasons seem to pass quickly.  Thank god for DVR.  Who has time for commercials anymore?  LOL.  Today is business day 4 since I have seen the surgeon.  Can take from 7 - 10 business days for approval and surgery date.  I called yesterday, but unfortunately no answer as of yet.  I am sure I will hear soon.  The weather has been awesome.  Too bad summer ends very fast in Northern NH.  You think I would be used to it by now. 

Surgeons Visit

Today went much more pleasant than I anticipated.  I was with the Dr. for about 40 minutes.  He discussed at length the procedure itself, risks and side-effects, along with the benefits of having the surgery.  He answered all of our questions and was quite informative.  I am seeking solace in his ability to help me change my life.  Now I wait for a surgery date.  I have been anticipating this day for months.  Wonder became hope in just one visit. 

Tomorrow's Surgeon Visit

I am so excited.  Tomorrow I will meet with the surgeon who will be performing my Bariatric Bypass Surgery.  He holds a very important tool in my healing from obesity journey.  I have waited a very long time for this day and will not take a moment of it for granted. 

PRE-OP Class Happenings

Today was very informative and was glad to be a part of it.  What an amazing group of men and women ready to take control of their lives and beat the battle of obesity.  Diane was very informative and answered any last questions that all of us had at this point.  At the end of her lecture, she handed out wonderful samples of Protein Powders and such.  Following her presentation, we finished the class with a session from Maureen.  Shes always a delight to see and a truly a wealth of knowledge.  More questions and answers, yet this time there was a quiz that she passed around the room & each of us filled it out and turned it in.  With a passing grade you were handed your DHMC Certificate of Achievement, followed by an interactive DHMC CD to explore on your home PC.  Finally we received our Bariatric Surgery Discharge Information on paper & officially completed the journey to this point.  Last but not least, Allen, a very friendly fellow discussed Advanced Directives & Living Wills at length, and anyone interested in filling them out did so.  You could also take it with you and fill it out at home.  There were two separate forms.  One if you lived in NH, and one if you lived in VT.  Its been a long journey.  The finish line is in sight.  Thank you for allowing me to see the light.  I am blessed.

Tuesday I meet with the Bariatric Surgeon, which is the final step before I am given a surgery date.  Words cannot express how much this will change my life.  I feel great today.

Pre-Op Class

Just spoke with Julie this morning in the General Surgery Department, and was informed that the pre-op class which was scheduled for Friday, June 18th, has been changed and re-scheduled for tomorrow June11th at 9:00 am.  Neither one of the dieticians will be available next friday, hence the date change.  Hope to see everyone there and meet the people who are on the same journey.  Sleep tight.  See you tomorrow.